Thursday 19 June 2014

I reached my goal!!




YES!
I did it!
I reached my first goal on My Fitness Pal!

I lost 4lbs since last week and now have officially reached my MFP goal!

I am so happy and it just shows that hard work and dedication pays off!


Total Loss So FAR: 2st 5lbs = 33lbs!!!

Wednesday 11 June 2014

30lbs Down in 45 Days!- Progress So Far.


Hey guys!

So this is my first update post, these should be posted every week either on a tuesday or wednesday!

So about a month and a half ago I decided to seriously start losing weight. 

I started at 22st 10lb! Which is roughly 319lbs!
I have since then lost just 30lbs and am now 20st 9lb /289lbs!

My first goal on myfitness pal was 2 and a half stone and I am now 3lbs away from that goal!

I weighed in yesterday and unfortunately there was no change, however I had gone out for a drink AND had pizza takeaway as it was a bit of a special occassion with my family!

I have a video up on my Youtube Channel on how I lost the weight so if you would like to have a watch of that just click on the link below!

Thanks for reading and a lot more updates coming soon!

xoxo






Instagram: xfatshionx

Email: witheringshadowsblogging (at) outlook (dot) com

x

Tuesday 3 June 2014

Confessions Of A Fat Girl!

Hey!
This is a little tag I saw going around on the + size blogs and thought I would totally steal it and rip it off haha! No, credit where credit is due, I found this from Naomi on Diamonds 'n' Pearls! So check out her wonderful blog!

So this is just a quick questionaire about being plus size! Here goes!

1. How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat?

Well in all honesty it does make me feel a bit better. Everyone (yes even really skinny people) have insecurities about their weight and no one is ever truly 100% happy with themselves. I mean personally I hate when anyone, including myself, mentions/talks about shape/size or weight! I just find it uncomfortable, especially as I'm quite open and honest about my own weight. Everyone has the right to express their opinion and how they feel about themselves so it doesn't bother me at all. Apart from those annoying attentionseekers that literally ONLY say it for a "Oh no, you're so skinny and perfect! Don't be silly!" kind of comments. UGH!

2. How has your body image changed since high school? College?

I left school when I was around 13/14 to be homeschooled. I had some pretty intense depressive spells but that was down to being ill with severe depression. Of course at that time everything upset me. My weight was always something that had bothered me and now looking back I think it was one of my main contributors to how I was feeling. It definitely didn't help, let me put it that way! But I was always in denial and said (and even thought at that time) that I was ok with it. I have yo-yoed since then. But I am now at my thinnest I've been since I was around that age (15ish). I'm 19 now and don't go to college so not much issue there. But I am a lot more positive now, especially now I've acknowledged and actually accepted my ACTUAL size! I'm a lot bigger than I thought I was! Now that I've lost just over 2 stone (29lbs to be exact!) I feel so much more confident and a lot better about myself. In all aspects!

3. Have you tried dieting? What happened?

I am currently on a diet and I have been "dieting" since around 12! I was always watching what I was eating and doing fad diets in my early teens. Since the age of 16 I tried more seriously, but was on extremely bad medication that made me gain nearly 6 stone in a year! That's about, 86 lbs! (I think, I did that in my head!)
Now that I've come off medication and been off for a while, my appetite has decreased substaintally. I don't need to eat as much as I did before and I'm starting to be healthy. I cut out fizzy drinks (well, I still have some diet versions occassionally and diet energy drinks because these are my addictions) and I eat healthy. I eat around the minimum guideline daily amount of calories which is 1200 calories and I go to the gym 5 days a week. The other 2 days are the weekends so I go for walks or out and about. I've lost 29lbs so far and hope to lose a LOT more! 50 is my first massive milestone!

4. Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic?

To be completely honest, I don't really believe in that at all. I know so many people who have really overweight parents and are so skinny themselves. I also know a lot of people that have extremely thin parents and are quite large themselves. I believe that you can be big boned through genetics but that's just your frame and not really your fat. Most supermodels are actually big boned. They have broad shoulders and long limbs, that's the true definition of big boned! Not just a cover up for fat! But I think that my weight is 100% down to my upbringing and childhood eating! Then encouraged by the fast weight gaining medicine and lack of physical activity. Now that I'm an adult and I can control what I eat and do with my body, I'm noticing a huge change and a quite rapid(ish) weight loss. So I don't think I have anything there in my genetics. Even though my dad is quite large and my mum fluxuates a lot when switching from diets.

5. Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instance where people assume you're unhealthy?

I do consider myself healthy. I have no medical problems and the only medical problems I have ever suffered from have had nothing to do with my weight what so ever. I don't have anything like diabetes, high blood sugar, high blood pressure or any damage to my muscles or knees. People have and still do always assume I am unhealthy. I half agree with them in the fact that I am KIND OF unfit and that isn't that healthy I guess. But there is a massive difference between unfit and unhealthy. I'm just a bit more on the unfit side than the fit side but since going to gym extremely regularly, I find fitness stuff a lot easier and feel a lot fitter.

6. Are your parents both supportive about the weight you are? Have they always been?

My dad has always been extremely supportive as he has always had the same problems. He always tries to diet with me and exercise with me but he normally gives up so I've just decided to do it on my own from now on. He is very happy that I'm losing weight and always encourages me! My mum is a bit of a different story but I don't really care because I don't have that much to do with her.

7. How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus size people?

Different shapes and designs! I think a lot of retailers think they have to make the classic plus size "flattering" shapes. But plus sizes girls come in different shapes also. I think a bit more variety would be good. I also think they REALLY need to sort the length issue out! Nearly all plus size dresses/most tops are extremely long which I personally find less flattering. More fashionable patterns and designs and not just thinking "they wouldn't suit that as it's not flattering" would do nicely!

8. Do you think plus sized women are judged differently from how plus sized men are? If so, how?

I think this is a bit of a too generalized question because I think there are two different sides. On one hand, some plus size women are seen as body confident, embracing their bodies and loving themselves. They are seen as confident and secure in their own skin.Whilst the plus size man is insecure and doesn't want to take his shirt off or go to the gym. He's insecure and shy. And then on the other hand there is the flip side, a shy, embarrassed woman who hates her body and herself. She doesn't like to show her body and doesn't like anyone talking about her weight. Whilst the plus size man is bubbly, lively and full of life. A larger than life character who is embracing himself by making fun of himself and joking about his weight. There is sterotypes for both sides of the plus size gender. Female, Male, Confident, Shy. In reality it depends on the person who is judging. Some people would argue that it's ok for a woman to plus size because it's more curvy and womanly but it's not ok for a man to be fat. And others would argue the opposite, that it's fine for the man because who cares what a guy looks like as long as he's happy and healthy, but a woman can never carry some extra weight because it's slobbish, unsexy and not attractive. Depends who and how you look at it.

9. Do you think that there is an assumption/sterotype about plus size people? How would you respond to it?

I think there are many. I guess the main one is that all plus size people are fat because they eat to much/they don't want to be thin/they don't try to be healthy. I think that is complete bullshit! For many people, especially younger people such as myself, have been overweight for most of their lives! It's like saying to someone who broke their leg badly when they were little and are still recovering that they don't want to be fully healed just because they're not back to full health. It takes time to lose weight! Especially if you've had it for a long time! I also think weight is a lot to do with pshycological stuff. I think it's completely mental and food is an addiction. I never used to think this. Even when I wanted an excuse for my diet going badly, I wouldn't of said that. But then I watched this documentary about a man who was a personal trainer who was very fit. He wanted to see how his overweight clients felt so he gained half his body weight and became fat. He did this in 6months and then spent the next 6 months trying to lose the weight. It was an extremely interesting watch and made you realize how much it is in your mind and how much of an addiction food really is and what it does to you mentally.

10. Do you think there is ever a right way or time to express concern about someone's weight?

Yes! In all honesty, I do! If you had asked me this a year ago it would have been a completely different answer. But I think it is important to intervene if it is become a serious health risk for that person. I think you have to be very close with them and have a great friendship/relationship/bond with them. But I think it is important to help them! This is only if it's getting serious though, such as if you think they have an eating disorder. I had a friend growing up who was obviously bulimic and anorexic and I stood by an did nothing, even subconsciously encouraged her without actually realizing what I was doing at the time. I was only very young but I wish I had stepped in and looking back I should have said something as she was my best friend at the time and had been for a while. Also I think if someone is getting dangerously overweight, such as 350lbs + and you are an EXTREMELY close friend and/or family member then I think it is good to politely and nicely mention it. They might get upset and be annoyed with you, but they WILL thank you in the long run. And it's nothing a doctor wouldn't say to them!

11. What are the worst things people have said to you about your body?

To be honest, there isn't that much apart from the obvious "fat" thing. But I really don't care about that. I know I'm fat. They're not lying. They are telling me the truth! I am fat, statistically. I think if more people accepted the word fat it wouldn't be such a bad thing and we all wouldn't get as upset as we do. People always have and still do say, "....but you have such a pretty face!" which to me is actually the worst thing to say to me/ the biggest insult! I can admit I'm fat but it quite offends me when people view my body shape as a whole as ugly. But I don't really care that much what people think/say anyway though. I just had to chose an example for this question lol.

12. How did you respond?

I probably just smiled and said "thank you" but inside I was thinking, "yeah and you have such a nice body, shame about your judgemental, condescending personality!" hahahahahaha! Getting carried away now!

13. What have people said (or you wish they'd say) to compliment you on your body/appearance?

To be honest I do get quite a few compliments on my appearance when I'm fully done up. When I have my hair and makeup done and am wearing nice clothes I get lots of compliments and often get chatted up. Men always have to mention the boobs! I don't even have very big boobs compared to my body and they're not that nice, shapewise and perkyness wise! But they still compliment me on that. I also get the nice arse comments. I wish people would say I had a lovely curvy, hourglass figure. But then they would just be straight up lying, so I'm glad no one has said that.

14. Do you find yourself hanging out with other women closer to your size?

Quite the opposite, pretty much all my friends are very skinny. They probably range from 6-12's. The very biggest would most likely be a size 14! And I'm a massive size 22/24 (yes it's gone down a couple sizes, hoorah!) and I'm definietly the biggest. I don't do it on purpose though and I have had larger friends, in fact my ex best friend was probably bigger than me. I do find though that the bigger girls do tend to be a lot more conscious and insecure, which normally makes them but on this kind of weird arrogant, overconfident, cocky persona act. At least with my friend group, that's the case.

15. How has your weight affected your sex life, if at all?

Well, I've always been big so I've never known any differently sexually. But confidence wise, it's hit and miss. If I genuinely like the guy I'm having sex with, I'm a lot more shy and will probably keep my top on/belly covered up. If it's a one night stand or someone I'm not that emotionally bothered about, I'll be full into it. Completely naked, every positon, everything. I don't care. I think it helps me perform better though because you want to be really good to make up for not having the perfect body.

16. When you've been single, has your weight affected your dating life?

Yes and no. I've never really looked and I haven't ever had a proper boyfriend. I don't really want to date or have a boyfriend right now either or for a while so it doesn't really bother me. Guys still like me, chat me up, ask me out and it doesn't affect my confidence on trying to pull them, as long as I get the signals from them that they're interested in me. You just have to realize that just like us girls, guys have types. Some people find bigger attractive and some don't. So don't get upset or take it personally if someone doesn't find you attractive. I know that sounds hard and kind of stupid because it's your face/body but it's their problem not yours and they don't know what they're  missing out on!

17. Do you feel weird if the guy you're with only dates larger girls?

I would find it weird in a way because I always think it's weird when someone will only date/consider to date a certain type of person, but as I said in the last question, everyone has a type and everyone likes something different. It wouldn't exactly bother me but I would find it a little bit strange, just because my personal taste is SO varied!

18. Do you feel weird if he's only dated slimmer women before you?

Now this I would find uncomfortable. Not weird, just uncomfortable. I kind of always think when a guy chats me up and I know who he's been with before/what he normally goes for and they are a LOT thinner and more attractive, I always think it's a bit weird and that maybe he's talking to me as a joke or whatever. But I'm pretty laid back and don't care that much about it anyway, because odds are it would only be a one time thing. As I don't do boyfriends. hahaha! So I wouldn't feel that weird because he was probably just curious. It's like me saying I wouldn't hook up with a fat man because I've only ever been with guys with a six pack. If there is an attraction there, either physically and/or mentally then who cares what size you  are?


Anyways! That is the end! Wow, that was quite fun but also quite difficult. I haven't (and I'm not going to) read it back, so it could just be one massive rant which I'm guessing it is! HAHA!


Hope you had fun reading this.

Please check out my main blog:

http://www.whenshadowsremain.blogspot.co.uk

xoxo